Tag Archives: family

A Long Road

Posted on by under Being vs. Doing, Christ, Christian, courage, faith, family, Friendship, Grief, Growng in faith, love, Prayer

Where to begin. How about early 2018, that’s the last time I posted a blog. That January I started my Doctorate program, had a panic attack and started physical therapy. Later that autumn I began a stint as an adjunct theology professor, lasting four years all while working fulltime at my “day job.” 

Mid-2019 began what turned into five years of significant health battles. I had two life-saving surgeries, three different hospital stays, a mysterious illness, and one ambulance ride (more on these in later posts). 

But I was still working, still in grad school and still writing. Only I wasn’t writing blog posts. Instead, I was writing research papers, lesson plans, and a dissertation. But now my Doctorate Degree is finished and my run as an adjunct professor is completed. I now have time for more personal writing where I can explore new ideas, diverse genres, and different topics. Through these years, however, I have developed a whole new perspective on life, on suffering, and on what really matters.  

The difficulties of the past years are what is informing my writing and, frankly, my purpose. I’ve learned a lot through this time. Much has come from books and research of course, but even more through my journey of suffering, through the love of others, and through the challenges to my faith.  

I now know that my calling is “to equip the saints” and to show “that God’s kindness is meant to lead people to repentance” (Ephesians 4:12 & Romans 2:4 ESV). My goal is to be an inspiration to others; when times get rough don’t give up, don’t give in. Keep fighting the good fight. Darkness may encroach, but the light is coming. I know, I’ve lived it. And in the end, its relationships, listening, learning, teaching, and just being that are all part of the sweet spot of life. 

Relationships & The Common Denominator 

“I made known to them Your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.”

-Jesus, John 17:26

True and lasting relationships have love as the common denominator. The love of a husband and wife, parent and child, and close friends. The love of a Savior. “Love is patient, kind…and never ends” (1 Corinthians 13:4 & 8). Love holds your hand when in you’re in pain. Love sits next to you in the Emergency Room as the doctor frowns over the images. Love visits without being asked. Love endures. Love inspires. 

Listening Well

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
—Stephen R. Covey 

Listening well helps us to understand deeply. It helps us hear the cry behind the complaint, the feelings behind the flippancy, and the plea behind the patronizing. A good listener can unlock the heart of a silent sufferer, opening a space for more than dialog, a space that has meaning. A good listener can help make sense of the nonsensical and help get the derailed train of thought back on the track. A good listener can help move a mountain in your soul and remove the log from your eye, helping you to see the truth more clearly.  

Learning & Teaching

“Learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

-Jesus, Matthew 11:29

Learning is a life-long endeavor. When we quit learning, we quit growing. When we quit growing, we quite living. Be curious. Ask questions. Teach others to help them learn. Then let them teach you. 

Being & The Ever-Present Now

Slow down. What’s the hurry? The work will be there tomorrow, but the moment at hand will never be here again. Be present. Forget tomorrow, focusing instead on the now. The now is all we have. The past is done and the future is fluid, but the now is where the relationships are forged, hearts are touched, and lives are changed. The now is also when lives end. I thought about that while lying in the back of an ambulance. I was praying that I’d have more “nows,” but at that moment, I didn’t know if I would. 

What’s Next

I’m back to writing. I have a children’s book called Carson’s Recovery available at Amazon. It is published through Alonili Press, an emerging, independent publisher being built by a small group of writers.  I have another short story called Freedom Ride coming out later this year. And I’m finishing a larger, non-fiction work on how our union with Christ can help ease our anxiety. It’s tentatively called Anxiety, Me, and the Peace of Christ. I intend to continue blogging regularly. My topics will be varied, but will include some theological posts, some whimsy, and some cycling stuff. Maybe some guest posts if anyone’s interested. If so, please let me know. 

I hope to inform, inspire, and entertain. But only you can tell me if I’m successful at that.

May the Lord smile upon you. See you again soon (Lord willing). 

Thankful is Cool and Other Lessons

Posted on by under celebration, Christ, Christian, community, family, Fun, Pellet grills, Thankfulness, Thanksgiving, Turkey, Uncategorized

 

Turkey 2017

24 pounder smoked on our pellet grill.

We had a great Thanksgiving this year. Plans were changed, requiring the celebration to be at our house unexpectedly; but it worked out okay. We got the place cleaned, dishes prepped and cooked, and even the turkey (pictured here) turned out okay. I’ve prepared three Thanksgiving turkeys these last few years, and this year’s was by far the best. Oh, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t the best turkey I’ve ever eaten, just the best one I’ve ever prepared (I think because of the brine and the herb butter under the skin). I’m finally getting the hang of the relationship between the pellet grill and that big ol’ bird. Although I do recommend grilling two smaller birds rather than one pterodactyl-sized bird; after brining and all the other stuff, the thing is almost as big as I am!

 

But what makes Thanksgiving a blessing rather than just a gathering are the people. It seems that more and more people are increasingly unthankful nowadays. Maybe they feel they have good reason to be, or are somehow entitled to live in a world of dark, stormy clouds. But this last Thursday, even amid such global ugliness, we were family together in one place at one time. We were thankful for each other, for the ability to have such an ample feast, and very thankful for our merciful God. And to top it all off, the rain stayed away as the turkey grilled in the corner of our deck under the branches of the leafless red maple tree.

The next day we had the great privilege of spending time with some good friends of ours.

Tree 2017

Our tree from Brooks Tree Farm.

They’re a couple we don’t get to spend too much time with. But on that day, we went together to cut down our Christmas trees. And once the trees were cut down, twined into easy-to-carry bundles and loaded into the back of our friend’s pick-up truck, we got a tour of the farm. The owners of the farm are members of our church and they were delighted to give us, including our eleven-year-old son, a tour of their facility. We got to see wreaths being made, trees being prepared to be shipped all over the world, including to Dubai (who knew they had Christmas trees there!). We saw the many large greenhouses where baby trees, called plugs, matured enough to be planted or shipped to nurseries. We saw all kinds of cool equipment as well.

 

After heading home and getting our trees set up and decorated (and eating a turkey lunch, of course), we reconvened and continued our day engaged in other activities. As the day came to a close, my family and I sat around our dining room table in flickering candle light and twinkly tree lights, feeling thankful that our last two days were spent with special people. We were also beginning to recognize that God was blessing us through the lives of others. We spent a lot of time with people that care for and love us as we care for and love them. Perhaps this is why there’s so much “unthankfulness” in this world, people don’t have meaningful relationships in their lives. Or maybe their hope, their future wishes, are based on flimsy philosophies or broken promises rather than on the God of the universe. Perhaps this helps me realize how important it is to be as much of an encouragement as I can to others. After all, Jesus did say:

“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
—John 13:34-35

Maybe if I take Jesus’s words seriously, I can help an unthankful person see even an inkling of something to be thankful for. And if nothing else, at least I won’t add to their reasons to be unthankful.

Safe At Home

Posted on by under Christian, family, Fun, Jesus, rest, Uncategorized

I’m struggling with what to write. This was a tough week for me. I don’t usually have tough weeks because I try not to internalize the wrong things. However, this week was a bit bumpy at work, Caleb’s struggling with being back at school and Janey’s adjusting to the opportunity of having more hours with her work. All of this means that the beginning of the year is less than stellar so far. Maybe you can relate.

But even in the every-day trials of life, we can find rest and solace in Jesus (see Matthew 11:28-30, John 14:27 and Colossians 3:12-16). Alongside this, I’m thankful I can be safe at home. Both Janey and I have experienced otherwise in our distant pasts, but with each other we are safe. Our home is a safety zone. We can relax, unwind, vent, cry if we need to—and just be ourselves.

In fact, even with a bumpy week we were still blessed to celebrate Caleb’s first Christmascaleb_first_christmas_concert-2 concert (which included him performing a nice solo). We had a great snow storm all of Saturday, which brought great           janey_caleb_tobaggantobogganing; and we assembled a 550-piece jigsaw puzzle of Snoopy and Woodstock. snoopy_woodstock

And tonight, it’s roast beef with horseradish sauce!

So, yes, it’s good to be home.  

What a Ride: Despair and Celebration

Posted on by under Adventure, celebration, dementia, Grief, Thankfulness

Sad_Smile

Yes, 2016 has been an interesting, up and down year. My blog posting has been sporadic at best and my emotions have been stretched from east, to west and back again. But I am returning to a situation in life where I expect to begin posting on a regular basis; and I have a lot of ideas on things to write about. For instance, I want to write about atonement, and about the resurrection, and about Jesus being fully God and fully human, and about sin and whole bunch of other stuff.

But for the moment, I want to respond to a reader that recently asked why I’ve been absent. Well, lots of things have happened in 2016. But it began at the end of 2015.

The Recap

My last post was about the sudden death of a 20 year friend of ours, the oldest son of a wonderful family in Nebraska. Granted, the tragedy affected them more deeply of course, but it still shook us to our cores. Then 2016 began with my mom being rushed to the hospital. Mom, a very dear lady, suffered from advanced dementia and other physical disabilities. She spent much of January in the hospital. This led to her being admitted into hospice care. In the midst of this, my favorite pet ever—BK the cat—suddenly took ill and died. It was weird.

I came home from work on a rainy Thursday night and he ran over to greet me as he usually did. He was a great cat because I could pick him up any old way and he would just purr and head butt me. This particular evening, after his greeting, he all of the sudden lost control of his back legs, began panting furiously and had a wild look in his eye. We wound up at the pet ER where they said he was dying; feline congestive heart failure and his lungs were rapidly filling with fluid. In the process of his agonizing death throes, he bit into my left thumb with such force that I could feel his fangs sinking down into my bone, puncturing everything on the way. Shortly after that, he died. We spent the rest of the evening grieving in the people ER because my thumb was seriously injured. Even today my left thumb is partially disabled with the loss of some motion along with chronic pain and numbness.

About a month later, hospice care left a frantic message on my phone at about 4:30 in the morning; mom had died. No one expected it; sure, we expected she would pass away say in the summer or early fall, but then she suddenly started trending upward. Hospice was thinking she may have to be discharged from their care. But on February 29, she went to bed and at some point thereafter she was ushered into the presence of Jesus. Personally, I think she’s dancing in Heaven!

Then there’s the final semester of grad school. Through all of this and keeping up with my full-time secular job I was also trying to finish grad school on a high note. No easy task when so much of life is being filled with pain and loss. But God brought me and my family through it and last Saturday I was able to walk the platform in commemoration of completion along with about 300 other graduates from Corban University.

But…

So it’s been a challenging year so far. But now I have more “free time” and am looking forward to diving into blogging again (and perhaps more cycling too!). But thanks to God for all his work in my life and in my family, and also a huge thank you to my family and friends, I cannot tell you how much of a blessing you are to me. I can’t describe it because the tears of joy block my view. And thank you, dear reader, for your patience.

My God richly bless you in undeniable ways.